Saturday, September 15, 2007
praise God when I'm wrong
So i've been missing my scheduled meetings at hillcrest a lot lately. I went while my mom visited...but labor day, a trip to see a friend and a broken car have caused me to miss about 4 in a row. I felt like a jerk Monday when I dialed the phone to let them know my car was in the shop. Lordes quickly told me they were going to San Clemente anyways and wouldn't be there. (big sigh of relief)...and then proceeded to ask how Susie, and Abigail, and Richie were...and to tell them that they are missed. and then she said that she loves us all. I guess some people don't love conditionally like I'm afraid they do. I wonder how much of that assumption exists in my mind because that's true of how I operate? Being loved like that, when there's no fear...of rejection, or disappointment, or failure...man that's empowering. It makes me want to be there everyday. quite the change from my recent attitude of obligation. THEN, at COA Han followed Susie out to her car because he "needed to talk to her". She was a little suspicious (he's made a few comments over the past few months). But despite her caution as to his approach, she let him walk her to her car...and he asked how I was...he thought I looked distressed about the whole car thing and wanted to know if there was any way he could help. I share Susie's perspective only because I thought the same things. even as she began the story I was worried with her, only to be blown away, and truly touched by his absolutely selfless concern. Jesus, take away our fears that lead to assumptions. There's this great section in a Nouwen book that explains the term Namaste...the holy one in me recognizes the holy one in you. Let this be true in our lives. I want to know what it means to look at Han and see Jesus.