Thursday, July 12, 2007

when life meets work and you can't tell the difference.

I work a lot. I know it. I deny it. Most days I truly don't feel it. But it does create this sort of life that has a tight agenda and a slightly fragile mental state at times for me. 40 hours a week I'm emotionally investing in others and/or sitting with God, processing with my fellow interns, and it's both draining and uplifting.

Then I come to work at my other two jobs and I get to goof off. Sometimes there's stressful rushes of work...but I think being a server has taught me to handle that well and to enjoy the energy of it all.

Then there's your personal life...which tends to be hard this last year...and very self-reflective for me. I've been surrounded by loving and supporting people at church, san diego, and my even my new roomate Taylor. I finally had the energy to call my family yesterdy...I'm learning that some people deserve more intentional energy on the phone than the common, casual conversation...and sometimes that means not talking so often about insignificant things. So I called my grandma, and realized quickly that she's in tears. Her car is broken down in Newcastle, 30 miles from home, my mom wasn't answering her phone, and she just found out our greyhound Lily has cancer. And she wouldn't hang up with me so I could call my mom at work until she let me know she loves me "very much, always have, always will". I know all grandmas and mom's love their granddaughters/daughters. but my family is so freaking amazing at showing it. I talked to my grandma again today. My sister and i have been planning on sending my mom and dad to a B&B that we know of that is totally handicap accessible for her birthday. My grandma asked my mom what she wanted, she said money for a plane ticket to come see me. I just started crying. I miss my family a lot.

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