mawage

so my journal's in the car and i'm lazy bones in bed reading a book on marriage, just left my life group on marriage, drinking a pacifico and thinking about....mawage.

pastor lou and laurie heusman said some good things tonight in our q & a lifegroup time.

conflict:
from ephesians 4
1. act, don't react. rather than feeling angry and retaliating, chose love, forgiveness and understanding. instead of doing what is most natural (reacting) chose to move toward the other by the power of the spirit.
2. keep it current, never let the sun go down on your wrath...or at least set up an appointment for the next day to discuss it, so you're not forced to settle things when you're tired and emotional late at night.
3. attack the problem, not the person
4. speak the truth in love

closing words:
open yourself up to be changed by your marriage. it is a golden opportunity to be changed.

read paul tripp's words on expectations in marriage.

in marriage, our goal is to see the other flourish. if i'm living my life outside of myself and my (and my spouse's) happiness as the goal, then my purpose and goal is to see flourishing, and when i can be an agent of that flourishing. rather than seeing the personality and character flaws in our spouse and pointing them out, we should study them, learn them and help them to grow in their strengths. catch them being wonderful people and tell them.

also learned his first home with his wife was a motor home he bought in seminary for $5G's. makes my little love shack not seem like such a teeny space for two newlyweds.

about 26 days to go i think....and i'll be a wifey.
nancy and i were carting around costco today grocery shopping while ryan and tim made a commercial for their new business "long beach production company". i couldn't stop giggling at how married i felt. it made me happy. i bet that's a good thing.

Count down to I DO=36 days!

I went for a dress fitting yesterday, and the guy asked me, "so you ready to get married???" It seemed like he was used to hearing apprehension in the voice of girls that come in to get their dresses done. It was really fun and just freeing to shock him with a "hell yes!". I'm reading a book right now, Fit to be Tied, by the Hybel's. pretty good. next on the que is a book from the lovely Kim Wilson "Created to be his Help Meet". Also really enjoying our life group at church with newlyweds and start our pre-marital couseling this weekend! It's a good reminder that we're not just planning a party. It feels like we are constantly being reoriented to the reason for marriage. Our officient/friend has also brought us back to that several times in our meetings. It is so good to feel like we've got so much support from such wonderful people.

Here's a sneak peak at some photos from the engagement shoot. you can view more here at http://www.twinlenslife.com/2010/02/first-date.html


Tim's friends Brian and Brandon did an amazing job. I can't wait to see what they do at the wedding!

a heart of gratitude.

You'd think after all the research i've done on virtue theory and moral emotions that i'd be a pro by now...
The other day I took the time to read the past few months of journal entries and saw a trend of general pessimism and negativity. I saw daily stress and unexpected, expensive events as legitimate reasons to feel completely defeated and helpless. And i remember praying several times to God to give me a true spirit of gratitude. I knew that I could muster up a list of reasons to be thankful...but I longed to feel truley, naturally grateful for life.
I wish I could say that I arrived at this state even in the midst of all my trials. Of course, it came later as I was relieved of some financial burdens, as I drove the car purchased to replace my wrecked one, and as I sat in a warm, loving home that has recently been opened up to me...and after my landlord decided he was going to help us clean our apartment to rentable condition so we could get back our deposit, and then proceeded to wash our cars for us (who is this guy???). But regardless of how I came to this peaceful and grateful state, I was recently asked by a friend who sat next to me in church, "how's life?" and I paused and sincerely answered, "really really good". he was suprised at my enthusiasm, and so was I.

God is so good to us, even when we are so untrusting and humanly afraid of the world.

count 'em...10

meet the bridesmaids! i forgot to take pictures of them before i dressed them up...but you shouldn't want to see them in their underpants anyways!!! :)

Susie, Hanna, Chelsea, Morgan, Kristin

Christi, Christa, Sarah, Kamian, and Allison

One Big Update

It's been just a little while, so I thought I'd catch some people up...

First and most exciting...Tim and I are engaged!!  He proposed on top of Mt. Zion near Pasadena on August 1st.  It was the first place we'd ever hiked together last November.  We were conveniently alone on that first hike, but still just friends then.  This time there was a surprise waiting for me at the top...you can read the full story soon on our webpage that is yet to be created.  :)  For now we're enjoying all the fun things that come with being engaged and waiting patiently for April to come.  we currently make bets on a weekly basis with the stakes being how we will be announced on the wedding day.  When I win, we will be introduced as Mr. and Mrs. Chelle Stephens.  or Tim and Chelle Neilsen in the unlikely event that he wins.  I've lost twice so far...

In other news...I'm still working for ACES and feel very confident and happy there.  I'll probably be there for a few years while Tim finishes up school for Media Productions.  He's shot some really beautiful weddings lately and created a promotional documentary of the Colorado Lagoon's Art Walk a few months ago.  I've watched each video multiple times and continue to be shocked and impressed at his talent and creativity!

We recently went home to Oklahoma for the weekend and saw all kinds of fun farm animals, listened to old records with Dad, rock climbed at my favorite spot, and spent some great time with family and friends.  and found out that I'm going to be an auntie soon!!!!  I'm still working on Christi to let me dress up baby Earley and stroll it down the isle in a wagon. :)  Mom and Gramma are beaming and dusting off their rocking chair that they restored years ago in anticipation. :)

Life is very very good, and I'm so grateful for so much.  I'm also reading a wonderful book, To Heal a Broken World by Rabbi Sacks.  It's inspiring and challenging.  and that is what I crave in life.  you should read it.  you'll become a better person for it. :)

that's about it...more pictures are on Tim's facebook if you want to see our seattle trip or a picture of an Oklahoman buffalo. :)

take care friends.

unlikely surroundings.

i realized about a week ago that my first case in the mornings is just a short jaunt off the LA river bike trail. and so I head out for about 10mi each way on my morning commute. It was a glorious ride today. I saw bunnies, lizards, native flowers, terns, cranes, horses, egrets, glistening waters....all off of the LA river bed. who knew? this is one corner of my world that keeps me sane lately...the beauty of the earth.

grace and peace be with you friends.

it's been a while...

So i've obviously been busy lately...leaving little time to the interwebs. and i love it. if you're still reading out there, i'm amazed. :)
life is really good. i have much to be grateful for...as always. Tim and I are on day 16 of a 21 day daniel fast. i want coffee...he wants beer. but it's been good to practice discipline and sacrifice these past 2 weeks. my character feels stronger. :) I've also been getting more hours with aces, which has given me a lot to think about/experience...and then try to integrate into my real life. It's funny how we do this...i've always been perplexed at the varying levels of sharing we all do regarding work. In fact I was asking a friend a little about work last night and the more i probed into details the more closed up he got...not because it was confidential or rude, but just out of the ordinary for anyone to car about the mundane details. On the flip side...when I desire to share about my work day I often censor or summarize myself into a trite little statement about whether it was generally a good or bad day. I think I've been taught that this is polite...when people ask about your day, they may or may not want a real answer, and so the art of conversation (i've gathered) is to decide how much they really meant to ask that question. I usually opt for an easy out for them so they don't feel weird. But the problem with this is, my work is intense and it gets inside of me and messes me up a little. on good days it gets inside of me and makes me rejoice for these kids who are learning how to make contact with their world. But I can't communicate that, 1)because my story telling is too detailed and lenghtly to ever stay on the safe side of social politeness, and 2) it's illegal for me to say too much...confidentiality and all....wa wa waaa.
anyhow, as i reconcile this my prayer is to really care about these kids and their lives. to figure out how to be a professional teacher to them, but also a loving person in their lives who longs to see them talk and laugh and play freely from the restraints of thier disability as they would in a new creation.
that's about it for me these days. this song was sung at church on easter and I have loved it for a very long time. it makes my soul groan with the groanings of the earth to be restored.

I see the King of Glory, coming on the clouds with fire;
The whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes.
People of every nation kneeling to confess your name;
The people sing, the people sing.

Hosanna, hosanna,
Hosanna int he highest!
Hosanna, hosanna,
Hosanna in the highest!

Until you come in glory we are called to spread your name
By bringing truth, by bringing hope,
Bringing your restoration, bringing life where death prevails.
And all will say, and all will say;

You will finish all you have begun
When Christ returns in glory and your kingdom comes,
So help me live a life that points the way to your throne.
BREAK MY HEART FOR WHAT BREAKS YOURS,
EVERYTHING I AM FOR YOUR KINGDOM'S CAUSE,
Living for the day when you restore the world.


take care and live well friends.