sometimes silly things just hit you in a way that seems really profound

like when a kid on my caseload points for the first time, or says "Go", or waves and says hi without any help. It makes me want to jump up and down and cry tears of joy.

or when you go get coffee at the place on the corner in front of our new apartment and the sweet little owner lady is so happy to see a new face and when you leave says "see you tomorrow!"

or i get to sit at a table in a dining room with my husband for a meal and then go to ANOTHER room to watch one of our favorite show (parks and rec) on hulu before bed.

or you realize that you're doing a good job at your job and that your boss is happy about what you're doing and is somewhat impressed. (i can be insecure sometimes)

or you spend your last night cleaning your old place drinking beer and getting into a passionate conversation about politics, the economy and social norms with your landlord...who distracts you from cleaning until 10:30 pm and ends up on his hands and knees scrubbing floors with you.

Just little things that mean a lot.

We're Moving!

We lived inside of a 350sq ft box for all of our marriage thus far, and now we get to stretch our legs and have a bedroom! I can't wait!
Here's a stroll down memory lane for those of you who have journeyed with us in what we lovingly call "casa hermosita".


Here's Tim installing our kitchen floor. The place was a hole when we first moved in. But Tim is a talented talented man. He redid all the floors, rebuilt a wall in the bathroom and I was the lucky helper who got to roll the cast iron tub out of the room on a skateboard so he could redo those floors too! It was very much "ours". But 9 months of sharing a full sized murphy bed is 9 months too long. Our marriage has definitely been strengthened during this time. Learning how to live simply, compromise, be patient, and many other lessons were brought to us during this time.

But now we get to MOVE! Our favorite thing about the new apartment is that we can have friends over! Like, more than 2 at a time! We're excited to have a home we can share with others and have dinner parties and game nights and celebrations in.

We have private rooftop access (we're the building managers), and Tim has space for an office in a separate room, and we have a kitchen that 2 people or maybe even 3 or 4 can stand in at a time!!! It's like a mansion! :)

We can't wait to have you over to watch a sunset and enjoy dinner with us.

"I fell down"

When you have a giant, blue, fiberglass arm people ask you the same question. Strangers and friends alike want to know "what happened?". As much as my creativity could have run rampant here, my tired and lazy response over the past month was "I fell down". If you were a close friend you heard the long story, but basically, I did just that. I fell down and broke an elbow. My ulna to be exact. And thus, for a month, I was forced to "be gentle to myself" as the dear Mrs. Prouty put it.
Soooo, I read a great book compliments of a pastor/friends recommendation Surrender to Love. I clumsily and slowly knit nothing bigger than a coaster, but managed to crochet a few hats for some beloved children and family (you only need one hand to crochet!). I politely asked my loving husband to do the dishes each and every day after he cooked almost every meal for me (such a wonderful man). and I learned how to put my contacts in with one hand all by myself when I had limitless hours to get ready in the morning. I was definitely forced, despite my hard work ethic and general inability to just sit, to be gentle to myself. It was nice.

Here's a pic of the day I got the cast on. It was actually on the day of our 2 yr anniversary from our first official date. So, since the doc was in LA, we went back to the same restaurant from Dec. 10, 2008, Toi: rock and roll thai food. So yummy.


I'm back to work on Monday, full force. sort of. Thanks to everyone who's kept me company in the meantime and gone on "hikes" (walks) and helped me do laundry! :) I promise to do my best not to fall down and break any more bones. Or at least have a better story next time.

cheers!

really really beautiful life

it's been rainy for the past week here in Long Beach. I love it so much. And I always hesitate when Tim talks about moving to Seattle maybe someday, mostly he loves that they allow goats as pets :), and also all the mountains and green forests to explore. I think I need sunny days, but this rain is bringing out a very introspective, quiet part of me that I've been too busy to entertain since...maybe right before I started dating Tim! I really have been living in crisis mode for a long while now. Working long hours at unsatisfying jobs, unsure of where life will take me, not feeling totally known by any one person....
But this quiet, soft rain, paired with the season of life I find myself in recently is really really beautifully at peace. It's like the world is just as it should be. At least my small corner for the moment. I love my new job. It's not without it's craziness and drama and inefficiencies, but I feel totally happy there. Forever. The weight of these things are sinking in slowly. As I was talking with my mom picking our insurance policy options I was seeing things like "will cover Access transportation" which is for people in wheelchairs and I initially thought, yeah, we don't need that. But then, we might, in 35 years when I retire...from this job. Unless we move, this is exactly where I want to be in 35 years. It's weird! and awesome.
Tim and I have also been really free lately to do the things we love. Climb mountains, work in the garden, ride our bikes to the farmer's market, cook dinner together, enjoy our evenings together, lead a lifegroup at church, spend time with family. It's been so good to relax and enjoy life with him. And realize that everyday I get to know him a little bit more. Marriage doesn't magically enlighten you to know everything about a person the minute you say I do. I knew that before, but I'm realizing it in real life now...and realizing it's up to me to actively pursue that.

life is very very beautiful. it always has been, and always will be.

Road Trippin

I've driven the 13,000+ miles along I-40 between Oklahoma City and California 15 times now. We always say that we'll make the road trip a part of the fun, but every time, as soon as we're behind that wheel, we just want to "get there". This last trip I drove through a torrential rain storm complete with a lightning show in the darkest hour of the night. My mind convinced me there were tornadoes all around so I called my mom at 4:44AM her time and asked her to check weather reports for whatever stretch of nothingness we were in the middle of at the time. No tornadoes, just rain and streaks of light and my fearful imagination. But I have such an awesome mom. She stayed up and chatted with me for a good 1/2 hour while the hubs snoozed in the back so he could take over in Flagstaff. This pic is of a sunrise on the road. I love the sky.

The highlight of the trip was Miss Eleanor Jaquier Ann Earley. Our beautiful niece.
She does this amazing thing when she looks at you. Upon first glance she checks you over, once, maybe twice up and down. Then she locks eyes with you, a grin breaks out on her precious face, and then...her eyes widen and brighten as she's overwhelmed with how adorable she knows she is and she rolls her eyes and turns away with a squeal of happiness. It's the best thing in the world.

My sister has earned super mom of the year award in my opinion for being an amazing matron of honor in our wedding while caring for Elle just 6 weeks after her birth. And now, to top it off, she's recovering from back surgery with so much grace and patience as she also figures out how to take care of a newborn and all the new challenges that brings. But with a baby as awesome as Elle, I bet it is full of joy no matter what the challenge.
P.S. Can't wait for Tim to be a daddy. I mean, yes I can. I can wait 4 more years.

Off the Grid...or on our way

Tim and I talk all the time about someday living off the grid. Solar energy, grow our own food, recycle grey water for watering the garden, raise 2 goats for cheese and milk, get some chickens for eggs, bike everywhere we can....
He was talking about it again last night and I found myself wondering, is this possible in an urban area? I've seen/been a part of really great attempts or steps towards it.


But I found myself thinking, we've got to move to the wilderness...to an open space of land, like the central coast, or washington, or canada.And then my heart drops at the thought of leaving our friends, our church. AND both of our jobs require us to be in the city to an extent. And we love our jobs. SO, we've got to find a happy medium.

For those of you asking, WHY? The reasons are endless. Environmentally: using electricity and water from reserves and non-sustainable sources just isn't going to last. If we have solar power and electric cars, we could also reduce our carbon footprint there. Health reasons: in addition to the healthy nutrients in all vegetables, home grown veggies are uncontaminated by hormones, antibiotics, and genetic modifications. Also the hard work a garden requires gets you out in the sun for your Vit D and it gets your body working. Also, riding a bike is not only exercise but really really fun.
Politically: our government has it's hands so deep in our lives is ridiculous, and when it all comes down to it, money is the driving force. Won't even mention oil. Did you know that when you buy seeds to grow food, you can save the seeds from the tomato you grew and plant again the next year. And this is the way the human race has survived for centuries. But now, Monsanto and the US government has worked very hard to patent those seeds. Seed saving is a crime! It's absolutely ridiculous. Go watch Food Inc.

For me, this lifestyle brings me to life. It brings me closer to God. It makes me more fully human.


Someday we'll have a goat named "Bacon" (that's if Tim has his way). In the meantime, we've grown a pretty killer garden. I can't wait to eat that giant yellow squash tonight with dinner. :)

Bucket List

No surprise that I'm a list person. But I've actually never made a list of things to do before I'm X number of years old. Here goes. I think I can accomplish everything here by age 40.

1. Run a marathon in a beautiful place (like Big Sur)
2. Buy a house
3. Install solar panels on said house
4. Fuel electric car with solar energy collected from panels
5. Start a family (2 kids and 1 husband) :)
6. See the northern lights, preferably from Norway, but Alaska will do
7. Summit all of CAs 14ers
8. Complete a triathalon, just a sprint distance
9. raise chickens and a goat
10. Stand up on a wave for a legitimate period of time
11. See the east coast
12. Go to Canada
13. Go to Portland
14. Learn to play the guitar, better.
15. Plant a vegetable garden

I think that's a good list for now. :)
#s 5, 7, and 15 are well underway.